Indescribable.

I can't even begin to describe this past year and the year before. But I can still try. Actually, I'm going to let Rupyard Kipling do all the work. 

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

Over these past two years, I, and my fellow IBers, have had to stick it out, through thick and thin, through mental massacres and stress strokes, and keep our heads. All around us everyone said: "Get over it. You chose to do IB, so you have to deal with the consequences." And yet we made, we did it, we kept our heads even when the people perhaps the closest to us would not stop to lend us a helping hand, and blamed our suffering on us. 

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,

We all have dreams. We all have aspirations. I aspire to one day work in international trade, dabbling in economics, politics, language, and travel. But that does not come without hard work--dreamin' alone won't get us to where we need to be. IB taught us to work hard for what we learned. And to really learn it--not just memorize for the test next week. And we all know IB made us thinkers! But even better--we took thinking to the next level. Our aim was to act, not just to think. We are more than just thinkers. 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.

For every IA we turned in, for every IOC, for every lab report, and for every exam, we must rejoice in the final Triumph, yet also rejoice in the amount of work it took to get there. We should be just as proud of the struggle and Disaster we endured as we are of the final product we turned in. 

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

There were times where it seemed like our lives were flashing, falling before our eyes. One thing after another was ruined and the repercussions seemed insurmountable. And yet, with our worn-out work ethics and massacred motivation, we were always able to bring it back together. We persevered, and it will pay off. 

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

How many times have we all worked so hard for something that fell through? I bet the answer to that question is a lot. But it is never the final project that holds all the value: value lies within the journey, within the steps you took to get to the end, within the lessons you learned along the way. So never breathe a word about your loss 'cause odds are you haven't lost anything, but you have gained everything. 

And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

Sometimes we have nothing left to hold on with, but we hold on anyway--through sheer force of will. Those 3 am homework binges? Sheer force of will. Pure, unadulterated perseverance. 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

People have asked me before how I became good at public speaking. At first, I had to seriously consider the question. It's no natural talent, it might be in part because of DECA but not really, and it wasn't having a job. It was IB. Although, it's not because IB forced me to give speeches. It's because IB forced me to understand what I was saying and have confidence in the validity and academia behind my words. IB taught me how to be assured in what I was saying and in what I know (even though as TOK taught us-- that is nothing at all). 

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

A minute is more than just one. It is actually sixty whole seconds. A day is more than just one. It is twenty-four hours. There's so much more you can do with sixty and twenty-four than you can do with one. So, don't waste time. Take risks and seize the day. 

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

IB has given me more than I have ever imagined: opportunities. It has given me an education that has prepared me to be able to take these opportunities and make the most of them in the years to come. Mine is the Earth, now I'm ready to see it, to experience it, to learn it, and to understand it. 

It is more than just a piece of paper. It is more than just the diploma. It was absurdly challenging. I was forced to rise to the occasion. It was incredibly demanding. I was called to make time. It was a risk. Who I am now was worth it. 

Who knew I would grow to love IB? 

The Disembodied Thoughts of a Profound, Poetic Thinker

Step 1: While exploring Walt Whitman's journals, one thing is clearly evident: Whitman's scattered thoughts and rushed scrawling embody Mrs. G's catch phrase "to jot down a few thoughts." His scribble comes across as profound yet muddled, intelligible thoughts written in an unintelligible form. This shows that Whitman would catch glimpses of world-understanding, of philosophical realizations, and quickly pencil them in before the thought fled. Often times his scrawl would rhythmically resemble poetry, but mostly they would resemble sentence fragments. Also, towards the end of the text, Whitman scribbled pictures of who I would guess to be himself, Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington. One drawing of Lincoln appeared dark, with Lincoln's face in a shadow, which commonly symbolizes evil. The image of George Washington looks like he is stuck through the heart with a sword. Both images suggest that Whitman's mind has reached a dark state, that these revered men must have done something that, to Whitman, damaged their image.

For example, in his journals, Whitman rambles on about a ship. In several different contexts he mentions a "ship of liberty," a "ship of the world,"a "ship of humanity," a "ship of promise," and a "ship of the ages." He uses this ship metaphor in order to explore one particular aspect of life: trials and tribulations. He says later, "welcome the storm, welcome the trial, let the waves... why now I shall see what the old ship is made of... anybody can sail with a fair wind, a smooth sea... watch them tremble and turn pale, let them... I welcome this menace, I welcome this with joy." The rough waters and trembling waves he describes symbolize life's trials and hardships, and the ship represents people and their resilience and strength when thrown into life's sea storm. This extended metaphor tells us that Whitman faced many trials, eagerly, in his own life and could recognize their value.

Step 2: What I originally believed to "liberty," actually turned out to be "libertad." The description notes this word, as it is the Spanish word for liberty, and ponders the purpose behind this language change. Why did Whitman use the Spanish word for liberty here, and why did he use Spanish words in many of his other English poems? I wonder if it has something to do with the pronunciation or the flow of the poetry. Of course, it could also be used to reach a different target audience, Spanish-American readers, or it could also have a slightly different, untranslatable connotation in Spanish that Whitman thought was more accurate.

Also, though I did not mention this line in my initial investigation, The New York Times interestingly points out one phrase at the end of one page that says, in reference to the "ship of liberty," "I shall see the crash." They said that Whitman added the word "perhaps" to his musing in order to give the reader hope, and to not give the impression that the looming cataclysm is not inevitable. I find this fascinating--Whitman has no desire to look upon the world with pessimism and has no need to be blatantly negative with his audience.

Also, The New York Times helpfully connects the line "anybody can sail with a fair wind, a smooth sea" to Whitman's imaginary dialogue with Lincoln. He hints at Lincoln's upcoming challenges surrounding the civil war, and ponders the fact that Lincoln will face harrowing hardships never before experienced by his presidential predecessors. He also refers to the disheartening fate of the United (rather the not-so-united) States when he describes "black clouds, clouds of death."

Finally, The New York Times informs us that the drawings in the back of the notebook are almost surely not by Whitman. Folsam says, "He was known to pull out his notebooks and jot things down and pass them around." I find that fascinating! It tells me that he understands one of my favorite anonymous aphorisms: Nobody ever learned anything by listening to the sound of their own voice. This seemingly small comment, to me, is a testament to Whitman's character and appreciation for the things his peers may have known that he could have learned simply by sharing his notebook. That's awesome! Besides that, my guess as to what the drawings were was completely off. All of the men represented Whitman, except the last one. In the last one, a figure of a man being impaled between night day symbolized the state of limbo our nation found herself in throughout the Civil War.

The American Dream... Of Actually Going to Bed at a Reasonable Hour.

Freebie! :)

Untranslatable.

Lost in Translation: Franz Kafka's Novella Metamorphosis

Very often, we attempt to translate lines and lyrics of literature from one language to another. However, and our language teachers relentlessly try to convince us this, nothing can be perfectly translated. It can be impossible to flawlessly transcend language borders. Nonetheless, literature is a beacon for culture and ideology, and therefore it is not only impossible but also imperative that we translate novels and novellas in order to gain an understanding of global perspectives and ideas. In an article by MentalFloss.com, we are given just a few examples of untranslatable words...

1. Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego)
This word captures that special look shared between two people, when both are wishing that the other would do something that they both want, but neither want to do.

2. Backpfeifengesicht (German)
A face badly in need of a fist.

3. Mencolek (Indonesian)
You know that old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them? The Indonesians have a word for it.

4. Ya’arburnee (Arabic)
This word is the hopeful declaration that you will die before someone you love deeply, because you cannot stand to live without them. Literally, may you bury me.

And many more.

And now, Franz Kafka. 

Kafka, a renowned 20th century absurdist, told a tale of a man unexpectedly transformed into a giant insect called Metamorphosis where this man, Gregor Samsa, must learn to adjust to his new identity and face the disgrace his family feels for him. In this novella, there are several controversially translated lines. 

1. "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."

Diction: The term "awoke" gives more context to the linguistics because it is less familiar to the reader than "woke." It is a more dated, whimsical term. The word "gigantic" is a dramatic term and more powerful than "big." "Transformed" suggests that he was completely altered and is more akin to "metamorphosis" than "changed" is. Lastly, "insect" has a connotation that makes the reader squirm, but is also more clinical. 

Syntax: The sentence is given a straightforward structure. There are no dramatic pauses with commas or other punctuation. The words hold all the meaning.

Imagery/Details: He is specifically placed in his bed. In my mind, my bed is a safe, relaxing place, so this detail could play off of this idea that your home and your bed are safe places and this would make the scene even more unsettling. The timeline of this scene is ambiguous, he just wakes up "one morning."

Structure: The structure of this sentence is simple and direct. 

Other: "As" is a very interesting word for Kafka to use to begin this sentence. It makes me imagine that Samsa is not fully awake yet before he is hit with the realization that he is "transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."

2. "Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug."

Diction: Omitting "as" makes this sentence even more direct. "Uneasy" is a light-weighted, but uncomfortable term here. It is not as strong as "troubled." Lastly, "changed" is a more subtle term than "transformed," and feels less drastic. 

Syntax: This sentence is even more straightforward than the last without the "as." The lack of punctuation also perpetuates the lack of drama present in the first translation. 

Imagery/Details: "One morning" is still a very vague timeline and allows the reader to imagine which day it is. 

Structure: This sentence is simple and direct just like the last one. 

Other: I don't notice anything else.

3. "When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

Diction: "When" stamps the exact moment that Samsa woke up as the exact moment that he found out he had transformed into a bug. "Troubled" is much more unsettling than "uneasy," and slightly suggests a troubled mind versus simply a bad night's sleep. "Enormous" and "gigantic" are very similar in their intensity and both give me the creeps since they're referring to insects. "Bug" is less gross than "insect."

Syntax: This translator used tenses like "awoke" and "found he had been" which drew out the sentence and provided more pent-up drama. 

Imagery/Details: "In his bed" appears again to give the reader a sense of safety that is to be intruded. 

Structure: There is still no punctuation in this sentence to give pauses or breaths, but this sentence is more drawn-out because of the translator's use of tense in "he had been."

Other: "When " and "in his bed" provide more of a setting than the previous translation.

4. "One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin."

Diction: "Upon awakening" is even more dramatic and whimsical than "awoke." "Agitated" is much more powerful than "uneasy" and suggests that Samsa is annoyed rather than disturbed. "Monstrous vermin" is strong, grotesque diction for Samsa's new form. 

Syntax: "Upon awakening" is a dramatic tense in this scene. He did not simply wake up, he was awakened.

Imagery/Details: He is still specifically "in his bed," in a safe place. 

Structure: This sentence is full of structure! It is introduced by "one morning" and "upon awakening" is placed in such a way that you can imagine Samsa waking up and discovering that his is a large insect simultaneously. "In his bed" becomes more apparent and more incredulous by this translator's use of commas. 

Other: This sentence is so much more emotional and drastic that it does not necessarily reflect typical absurdist conventions. 

In each translation, the author's diction piled on meaning. In the first translation, "insect" is used instead of "bug" to have a more detached, clinical view of the issue at hand. This suggests to the reader that Samsa's character is not easily caught by surprise (one might say he has... unagi), and that he is not easily overpowered by emotion. On the other hand, in the last translation, the translator instead said "monstrous vermin" which gives the reader an exactly opposite impression. Now, Samsa is disgusted and incredulous, not cool and collected. The translators also use syntax and structure to impose meaning. This is clearly evident when comparing translation #2 and translation #4. In #2, there is a clear, direct, and simple sentence structure and an utter lack of punctuation and therefore a lack of dramatic pauses. And yet, #4 is littered with commas and incredulous pauses to emphasize the scene's outlandishness. Both of these techniques hold weight within the translations, and both contribute to the overall meaning and impression of this sentence. 

This exercise has clearly shown me the difficulties of translating text. Although I knew before that translations cannot always carry over the true intended meaning, I now know how a text can be interpreted in two completely different ways. I see how translation #2 essentially portrays absurdity, but also how translation #4 strays away from simplicity and dabbles in drama. The tones range from mildly confused to full-on flabbergasted based on the diction used in different translations. All in all, I am actually starting to agree with the idea that the translator should have a personal or literary connection to the original author, because while words may be translatable, intrinsic meaning may not always follow suit.

Let Me See this IOC!

Here is my recording:

My planning: 

Criterion A: Knowledge and Understanding of the Text/Extract

7: I gave myself a seven in this category because I chose good quotes that could demonstrate my understanding of the text. These quotes were great examples of the overall themes but did not employ much figurative language, so I could not perform an awesome literary analysis. Also, I believe I set up the context of the novel and the scene fairly well.

Criterion B: Understanding the Use and Effect of Literary Features:

7: I gave myself a seven for mostly the same reason as Criterion A. These quotes were good examples of overall themes, and yet they were not heavy on the literary. There wasn't much figurative language to be analyzed.

Criterion C: Organization

4: I was well organized, but I could have used more explicit vocabulary to outline my transitions.

Criterion D: Language:

4: My use of language was clear and appropriate to my audience. However, I did say "um" and "like" a few too many times.

Overall: 22/30

Magic Wardrobes, Clandestine Train Platforms, and Open Doors

Storytelling: Its Beauty and Necessity

In this inspirationally delightful Ted Talk, Mac Barnett, who writes children's books, discusses the power of storytelling, the importance of imagination, and their ability to harness the truth amidst a melange of lies. In particular, Barnett explores the power of fiction in the lives of children and its capacity to foster creativity and imagination within these children. It is his belief that stories, books, novels, and tales are wide open doors to whole other worlds of non-reality. A belief with which I completely agree. Stories are the vehicles with which we travel through time, space, and reality to discover ourselves and the world which surrounds us. This is why, as Barnett states, "[kids] deserve the best stories we can give them."

Through this discussion, Barnett attempts to convince the audience of the importance of giving children fiction. He does so first by establishing his credibility. He begins the talk with an interesting anecdote derived from his adolescence, when during his summers off from college he was a camp counselor for four to six year olds. During break time, the children he supervised gathered around beneath the shade of a tree and he began telling them stories. In one such story, Barnett convinced the children that he was a spy for the Queen of England. In another story, he told a little girl that when she threw her uneaten fruit from lunch into the bushes, melons would grow amongst the ivy. Barnett is also a writer of children's books, which he uses to establish his reliability and devotion to this concept. 

And yet, the ethos does not stop there. Barnett quotes Pablo Picasso, "We all know that art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth or at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies." He uses this quote, this ethos, to explore the area between lies and truth, an area that he calls wonder, wonder which is defined by Coleridge as "the willing suspension of disbelief or poetic faith." In addition,

Barnett's first job beyond college was with a non-profit publishing company in San Francisco called McSweeney's. Beyond McSweeney's, Barnett opened and managed another company dedicated to teaching children how to read, write, and explore a boundless, borderless land of creativity. Therefore, he knows the power of fiction in the lives of children, and has devoted his life to teaching creativity. 

All of the above examples of ethos are confounded with drops of pathos because of their pertinence with children; however, Barnett's last example is flooded with pathos and only a little bit confounded with ethos. To do this, Barnett first considers metafiction. Metafiction breaks down the fourth wall. It is when the stories begin to tell the stories. The authors of metafiction attempt to install reality into fiction in this way. However, Barnett does the opposite. In any way he can, he tries to bring more of the fiction into reality. One prominent example of this includes a blue whale. Barnett's first published

book is called Billy Twitters and his Blue Whale Problem. In this book, Billy receives a blue whale as a pet, but as a punishment, and now struggles with taking care of this whale. Within the jacket of the book is an advertisement for a 30-day, risk-free trial for a blue whale. And when children order their very own whale they receive a phone number and can call their whale. Barnett plays a few messages between a child named Nico and his whale, Randolph. Barnett uses these adorable voicemails in order to appeal to the audience emotionally and to emphasize Randolph's importance in Nico's life. Barnett gave Nico Randolph, and in doing so, a best friend. 

So, why did I choose this talk? In all honesty, I can relate to every storytelling talk that Ted produces. I love books and I love stories because I truly believe in their priceless power. And yet, I chose Mac Barnett's discussion because I specifically agree with his idea: a good book is absolutely an open door. There is so much more to be discovered through fiction than there is in nonfiction. I understand that it is important to understand the past and the people in it, but it is fiction that looks towards the future. We live in reality every single day, so what is the point of sitting down with a good, nonfiction book that only further recounts reality? No. A good, fictional, fantastical book is our escape from the drag that is reality, and the creative freedom an author has is limitless. Anything is possible within fiction. I learned this when I was a kid, and now, with that belief in my back pocket, I am prepared to try anything, to be anything. Fiction is not a pointless illusion. It is an extraordinary adventure.

I HIGHLY recommend this talk. It was amazing! 

Double Indemnity and Women in the 40s

5. How is Barbara Stanwyck’s character portrayed in this film? What type of angles is she shot in? What type of lighting surrounds her? Is she a good, likeable, moral person? How does she interact with and treat Fred MacMurray’s character? What does this tell you about the way that women were viewed in the 1940s?


Phyllis Dietrichson is the deceitful, diabolical Lady Macbeth of the 1940s. In the film Double Indemnity, Barbara Stanwyck plays Phyllis Dietrichson, a young woman married to a stuck up, unappreciative man. One day she meets Walter Neff, played by Fred MacMurray, who is an aspirational insurance salesman looking to convince the Dietrichsons to purchase automobile insurance. Innocent negotiations ensue between Phyllis and Walter, but the discussion quickly takes a sinister and flirtatious turn. Before you know it, a plot to murder Mr. Dietrichson and to collect indemnity compensation is born.

Barbara Stanwyck's character is portrayed, at first, as an innocently unsatisfied wife that is tired of her husband's complaining. Phyllis and Walter are romantically drawn to each other immediately. The first time she steps down the stairs to meet Walter, the camera dramatically and suggestively focuses on her legs. Before coming down to meet Walter, Phyllis greets him from upstairs wearing only a towel. At this point in the film, Phyllis is not necessarily likeable, as she is obviously flirting with Walter despite being married, but she is also not quite maniacal just yet. She originally treats Walter with enticing suspicion and curiosity as the seeds of her transgressions are being planted. Through this manipulation, it can be seen that women in the 1940s were viewed as untrustworthy, conniving creatures that should be kept under watchful guard.

      

Towards the end of the film, after Walter and Phyllis have murdered Mr. Dietrichson and they have attempted to get away with it, Walter goes to visit Phyllis at her home late at night. He admits to her that he has set her and another man up to take the punishment for his crime. She, in turn, admits that she doesn't love him, has never loved anyone, and only used him to kill her husband so that she could run with all the money. In this scene, Walter enters and finds her relaxed and nonchalantly smoking in an armchair even though they risk discovery. This can be interpreted as women being portrayed in the 40s as heartless, indifferent people with no concern for anyones safety but their own. This view is then fortified when Phyllis shoots Walter. So, Phyllis is not a moral or likeable character and this is so that the mistrust of women in the 40s is demonstrated.